BEING A 62-YEAR-OLD — free as the sky

I am 62 years old and about to move our home base from the US, which I have called home since 1977, to Korea in less than two weeks. As I age and prepare to do something that raises more questions than answers, I realize anew that I got to where I am because I have been seeking deeper meaning in life. The meaning I seek is less about someone else’s interpretation and more about a meaning rooted within myself, which has always been there. I worked hard to create a space for inner seeking, and as a result, I experience far fewer distractions and noises from the outside.

The baseline modus operandi has been that God created me in God’s image and likeness. Thus, discovering how I am created is also to discover God. I experience life through my personal, subjective life, not someone else’s. Living my life is the invitation. John Calvin wrote, “Without knowledge of self there is no knowledge of God. Nearly all the wisdom we possess, that is to say, true sound wisdom consists of two parts: the knowledge of God and of ourselves.” The knowledge of self and of God is a precursor for the love of self, others (and otherness), and God. The knowledge and love of self and God are two names for the same reality.

Speaking of knowledge and love, life is not necessarily about finding the so-called “ultimate meaning” as the destination. What I learned so far is the importance of the journey itself. “All the way to heaven is heaven, because Jesus said, ‘I am the way,’ summed up by St. Catherine of Siena. The journey to heaven is heaven itself. It is the imperfect human journey touching divine heaven. This human life of the journey is heaven-inspiring, attractive, and filled with meaning, as I have witnessed among the cloud of witnesses.

Then there is health. To stay on the journey, the least we can do is take care of our bodies and health, fully aware that anything can derail us at any time. Exercising is life-giving to me. I feel alive when I sweat, hear myself breathing hard, and even in exercise-induced pain. I count my blessings for not having had any major injuries. During our year in Malaysia, my wife and I worked out regularly. My wife tells me that I am her personal trainer, which makes me proud and brings a smile. Health is one of those areas we can control, but at the same time, we cannot fully control. It requires diligence on the part we can control, humility on the part we can’t control, and gratitude for the blessings we have received. Health is not the main focus, but the journey is. Nonetheless, it is a crucial part of helping us journey well while accepting our limitations.

That word, limitations, is humbling, especially as I age. Aging is about a growing list of limitations, but at the same time, not about a lack of imagination and hope for what I can become and what I should become, discovering the image of God and God’s likeness in me.